A Sure Thing
by Poker Chip
It was during the dark days of televised sports, that black hole somewhere between the Daytona 500 and March Madness, when she tripped into my life. Had I Known what I know now I never would have struck my foot out. She was lithe, limber and was now walking with only the slightest trace of a limp. Betting she had health insurance, I offered to pay her medical deductible.
Gracious, if not graceful, she sat down and declared she would not seek legal action. Relieved, I asked her to stay and join me for dinner. I could tell you it was the start of magical nights of candle light, expensive French wines and a long lazy walks, but I’d be lying. We ate tacos, drank cheap Mexican beer, no fruit, and talked Warriors basketball. Levi Fountaine was her all-time favorite player. She was cool and a fast healer, I was smitten.
We began to see more of each other and I believed we were getting closer. Well, as close as you can get from arms distance. She was still a bit leary of how we met.
Speed Andersen, Brad Pitt, Micky Spillane and a few lucky others have known women of this caliber. We were however, off to a good start. Spring training was on the horizon, the Master’s on the ebb tide, I was in a good place. Who could ask for more? A chick in hand, warmer weather approaching, this was CHIP TIME!
It was here that I made my fatal mistake. I gambled!
I invited her to join our Saturday foursome of Gary D, Sonic Sid and Cabo Nick. Just a standard muni with polies, murphies, sandies (dirty sand pays double) the works. She was a quick study and began to notice how the gambling took on a life of its own. I believe it was the double hammer on the auto press that changed her demeanor from casual amusement to disgust.
I was ordering after the round when she said those words I have heard far too often, Chip, we have to talk. A sinking feeling came over me. Friendly wagering is one thing she said, but your guys are out of control. If I stayed with you, I’d always have a fear in the back of my mind that you’d lose me in a poker game or on a two team parlay. Forget about the deductible, I made enough from you guys to cover it and then some. I’m leaving.
As she was walking away, I yelled, Baby, I don’t even like poker, I can change. She smirked and then slammed the door. With a heavy heart I said, Sid, I’ll shake you for the drinks.