Dads, Grads and Plaid
by Chip Emeritus, Professor of Golf Economics, PCGC
June is the month we honor the U.S. Open, grads and dad's financial independence. I, as your loyal advice columnist never a blogger have an idea on how to combine the three. Invite that ankle biting wallet draining graduate of yours out for a round of golf. He'll think of this as another charity event sponsored by dear old dad, while you will have an ace up your sleeve. Suggest to the newly worldly individual that today you will bet and, oh yea, putt everything out. Introduce to the scholar all the Poplar Creek specs, greenies, polies, Murphy's and two down auto presses. Birdies, of course, double the number.
It is your job to educate the graduate on some of the things he didn't learn in school. While junior may be an expert on Renaissance painting, who doesn't enjoy looking at fat naked French girls, can he make a six foot putt to halve a hole? At the turn, further his life lesson by ordering two beers and leave him holding the bill. As you drive away from the shack, ask your chagrined son, "Where's yours, aren't you having any." Remember his mom's not here and he's the reason you play hard scrabble munis and drink discounted light beer. Don't let up!
A victory cigar at this point would be crass and premature. Instead offer to raise the stakes. (He may as well learn this lesson from you) When the round is over and he is thoroughly deflated, ask him for a rematch next week. His education will pay you back in spades.
If you have a daughter, read the fine print on her birth certificate. It states in paragraph five that the fleecing will continue until the first wedding but not exceed the second divorce.
Next month BBQ Chip