Greetings and Salutations
By Sincerely Chip
It is truly gratifying to have a court order rescinded. My weekly suggestions to the Hallmark Greeting Card Company have met with some serious opposition. In fact, a legal cease and desist order was issued on my behalf. It appears sagging sales and angry shareholders have caused management to rethink their heretofore "Ridiculous Contribution" mantra. My ideas are now being hailed as refreshing and cutting edge. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The greeting card industry is primed and ready for some bold and new ideas. March Mini Skirt Madness and Pole Dancer Awareness Week are currently being readied for launch next year. The news that has the copy room buzzing with excitement is the unveiling of National Bookie Day!
The thinking is to replace Father's Day cards, no one ever buys them anyway, with an encoded Bookie Card. No names will be used, only numbers and initials. CA007, $50 on CHISOX. It will revolutionize the business. The genius behind this is, while gamblers have only one father, they usually have several bookies. "It's a vastly untapped market worthy of exploration", said Big Al. "Hell, I give it 5-2 to succeed." Is there a better way to pay the vig? Of course, the cards will be seasonal, football, baseball, auto racing and cricket. All golf bets must be paid in cash, sorry.
Buoyed with a new found confidence, I recently made a promotional suggestion to our local ball club. Halter Top Day! The shirt would have the words, "I love my Giants" emblazoned on it. I think that's a winner.