Irish Painters
by Chip O'Paint
I recently called my attorney, Blue Moon Retainer, collect. I asked him what I should do about those outrageous stories being told about the Irish. He said, I should consult with an expert on the subject. He then informed me, I was six beers in arrears, payable immediately. I hung up.
I next contacted noted Irishman Ross Madigan, and explained my predicament. He said, "I'm tired of Irish stereotypes, after I finish this drink, I'm going to punch someone." I settled him down and then asked him to comment on some of the stories being bandied about. I asked him what he thought about the claim, Italians and French paint art, the Irish paint houses? "Well", he said, "there are more houses than there is art. Plus, you meet a better class of people, so it might be true.
I pressed on, asking him if it were possible that the Irishman was the only man that would step over a naked woman to get to a bottle? He paused thoughtfully, and then said it depends on two things. What, I asked, no longer able to contain my journalistic poise, tell me? It depends on what she looked like and what was in the bottle.
We continued long into the night discussing Irish myths. We dispelled some, proved others, all the while leaving no bottle unturned. One thing I did learn to be true, Irish today, Hung over tomorrow couldn't be more appropriate.
Happy Saint Patrick's Day to all!