Poplar World Cup
by Global Chip
The balance of golf power is teetering on the edge. While most eyes are focused on the Ryder Cup and the possibility of two more years of European domination, I believe we need to take a more global approach to return the muni golfer to prominence. The Poplar World Cup! Instead of inviting Rory, Phil, and Tiger, we invite the world leaders to San Mateo for a match play tournament. Winner take all.
Heading up the world team would be Captain Fidel Castro. This is a demotion for the general, but what has he done for us since the Bay of Pigs? The home team would be lead by the former private Bill "Touchy" Feeley. "I have a few tricks up my sleeve, just wait until Fidel finds out he can't smoke indoors," said Bill. Noted Irishman, Ross Madigan believes Fidel will have severe match up problems. "Who's that commie going to put in a cart together, Israel and Syria? North Korea and China? Then he's got to counter a team of Swingin' Mr. Stevens and Blue Lou, I would rather face the deficit problem. Wait until they hear the way we mangle names over the P.A. International incident or Captain Feeley at his best?"
Each match will be played for some sort of stake. For example, Blue Moon Retainer might be playing Vlad Putin for nuclear disarmament, Sonic Sid for world peace and Baby Doll for wrinkle free slacks. "I believe we will beat these guys back into the stone age where they came from. I'm so confident, I will keep my secret weapon, Mel on the bench.