Santa’s New Suit
By Chip Crinkle
Santa today revealed the latest in aviation ingenuity and advancement with the launch of theDasher V sled and the newly improved S-Suit. These innovations have already made ripplesthroughout the armed services, air delivery and Easter Bunny communities. “Incredible, saidE.B., just cutting edge.”
The Dasher V is a six man sled equipped with enough counter measures and offensive weaponsto rival Air Force One. “After last years run ins over Somalia and North Korea we had to comeup with something to provect ourselves. In San Francisco, two reindeers were injured during asmash and grab, when the mob overwhelmed the Elf Elite, the ground crew anchored by Rancy G.and Mel, and the SFPD. This year we fight back, said impassioned co-designer Artie Klien.
The crew will be outfitted in a state of the art and fashionable S-Suit. The red velvet anti gravitysuit with the stylish white fur collar, can withstand speeds of Mach 5 without G-LOC, loss of consciousness, said club techie Scott Renn. “it will come in handy flying over China and Haiti”.
Several PCGC members were being given a tour of the new equipment when the big fella sawme, and said “Chip, let’s take her for a little spin”. The sons of civil servants, Kevin and Jim, manned the computer system. Bernie Hyde took the navigations controls. JPrez, looking quite naturalin his S-Suit, took the gun on the left, I was on the right.
“I know y’all were expecting reindeer, but the skies are not safe for my little friends. They say the south has a lot of guns, try flying over Iraq during a holiday. We are working with the reindeerunion to iron out their futures. Currently they are on full oats and benefits. Kinda of like California, no work, all pay, but these guys are worth it,” said Santa.
While we took off over friendly skies, we quickly encountered bogies over Venezuela. They scrambledtheir three working fighters to intercept us. The sons of civil servants very calmly laid down a trailof counter measures which baffled and overwhelmed the bullies from Central America. Santa yelledover the P.A. system, “ Hey Chip, it’s like your second hole, one on the runway, three in the drink”.
With that Santa banked a hard left, scorched Mexico at Mach 4 and said,”great test flightboys, you’re all on the nice list”. From some unseen flight attendant, Santa thinks of everything,Bernie ordered up a bottle and we all toasted the season.
Merry Chipmas