School of Cool
By Scholarchip
To solidify my street cred and appease my parole officer (see my Feb post), I recently attended a public gathering of the great unwashed. I was inundated by the overweight, the over sweaty and the over served en masse. As if this wasn't bad enough, I was jolted even further when I realized just how easily these "overs" could be manipulated. Imagine what a fast talking BS er, with an evil agenda could do to our PCGC way of life? On a whim, he could talk these people into thinking past horrors like polyester, sub fours, the singing group Wham and persimmon drivers are hip. The time to act was now, and fast.
The solution was simple, really. Open a school for cool. Staff it with the unique talents of our membership and secure a non-profit status from the state. The latter is an insurance policy in case of an IRS audit (see my Nov post). We would serve only the most needy of students, those retched individuals who wear checks with plaid, white after Labor Day and have poor bar room etiquette. This lucky, hand selected student body would be immersed in two down auto presses, finger food do's and don'ts and personal fashion. It would be a golf/life finishing school.
With his hands on style, John Jurgins, Dean of Female Relations, is the obvious choice to the lead the freshman recruits through orientation. "He's such a giver, said recent graduate Karen C., he made time for me after class and on weekends."
Listed below are some of our professors and their areas of expertise.
Dean of Gambling . . . . . . . . . . . Big Al
Dean of Gamesmanship . . . . . . . Dr. Steveo DeSantis
Dean of Swing . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bill Stevens
Dean of Cool/Bar Etiquette . . . . Mel
Dean of Mischief . . . . . . . . . . . Bill Feeley
Dean of Insurance . . . . . . . . . . The Big Cat
Dean of Female Relations . . . . . John Jurgins
Dean of Fashion . . . . . . . . . . . . Mr. Marco
Armed with our school motto, "Dress Well, Play Fast", we have set out to make a difference. Our programs have not gone unnoticed, as the NBA Player Association and the cast from Duck Dynasty have contacted our Dean of Fashion, Mr. Marco, for a consultation.
Welcome Summer Class of 2014!