Three Halves
By Chip By The Numbers
Fire, pestilence and a National League designated hitter, has God forsaken us? I am not sure, but I am certain He has put us on the watch list. These are, indeed, troubling times. Rumor around the fifth green is that the CIA, FBI and MTV have the PCGC on happy hour surveillance. Is it because this is an election year? Are the Russians involved? Why, with all their vote-rigging technology and experience would they care about our election?
Jason is running unopposed in a non-paid, unappreciated position, to serve a largely uninformed, indifferent and complaining membership. He’s got to win! Imagine if there was some CCCP election hanky-panky and an outsider got elected.
Who would work for such wages? Is Billy Carter still alive? How about O.J. Simpson? He’s not working at the moment and seems to spend a great deal of time at golf courses. I do believe it is a short list. We could take the first loser in the national election, but one hates California and the other might get lost on the way.
No, these guys won’t do. It has got to be a character with character. It’s too bad that Mel’s a woman. Wait one minute, hold the presses, it’s a wonderful thing that Mel’s a woman, but unfortunately she can’t be the president of the men’s club.
What we need is a man who is half magician, half shrink and half nuts to do this job. Old Tom Morris said it best, “Three halves make a whole” (good golfer, lousy mathematician) .
We have such a man, Vote Jason!